Life In The Hospital

Electronic Medical Record Translation Guide

For those of you who are new to electronic medical records, you will be learning a new language used by physicians who use electronic medical records. This quick guide will help you translate into English:

When the physician says:        The physician means:

@*#$(^*@                             Would you be so kind as to help me route this encounter?

*$@!!($##*                             I find the communication management function to be satisfyingly easy to use.

)#@@**&!                             Pardon me but could you please assist me in unburdening my inbasket with several of these fascinating communications?

*@##@#!!                              I woke up last night and was unable to fall back to sleep since I was giddy with excitement looking forward to come in to work and use the electronic medical record this morning.

*#^%@*$$                             So sorry, but I appear to have used excessive force on my return button; could I impose upon you to replace my keyboard?

/#**!!@*!                                The beautifully flowing prose that I am able to now create using the electronic medical record is like poetry and brings tears to my eyes every time I read my own progress notes.

#!**@#!?$                              While I was working on my SmartPhrases, my coffee mug has inexplicably been found to be protruding from my monitor screen.

&%@#!*!!#                            My computer seems to have fallen out of my window; might you obtain a new one for me?

!*#@!&^!**                            I dearly love this new system and I am so appreciative that I no longer have to dictate my letters.

October 27, 2016

By James Allen, MD

I am a Professor Emeritus of Internal Medicine at the Ohio State University and former Medical Director of Ohio State University East Hospital

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