What Exercises Should Be Included In The New Presidential Fitness Test?

The U.S. Presidential Fitness Test was established in 1956 by President Eisenhower. It was discontinued in 2013 but reestablished this year by President Trump. Based on Donald Trump’s history, we can expect some changes to the various components included in the renewed Presidential Fitness Test.

The original test consisted of 7 items: (1) pull-ups, (2) sit-ups, (3) shuttle run, (4) standing broad jump, (5) 50-yard dash, (6) softball throw, and (7) 600-yard run. Children who scored in the 85th percentile in all events received the Presidential Physical Fitness Award. Times and priorities have changed since the Eisenhower era, so we should expect that the components of the revived fitness test will reflect the values of President Trump. Here are some of the possible exercises that could be included:

1. The competitive eating challenge. President Trump’s fondness for fast food is well known. He famously served the national champion Clemson Tigers football team $5,500 of fast food from McDonald’s, Wendy’s, and Burger King. This exercise will be based on the annual Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest but instead of hot dogs, children will eat as many Burger King Whoppers as possible in 10 minutes.
2. The 50-yard flat foot dash. Donald Trump was able to avoid the Viet Nam draft because his doctor reported that he had heel spurs. This podiatry condition was quite an accomplishment for an 18-year old since heel spurs typically occur in older people as a result of a lifetime of walking on flat feet. For this exercise, children will tie pieces of 2 x 4 lumber to the bottom of their feet and run for 50-yards.
3. The 280 character thumb texting test. President Trump has a penchant for social media tweeting, first on Twitter (X) and more recently on Truth. During his first term, he made more than 25,000 tweets. Indeed, he has often touted his “TBBT” (two big beautiful thumbs) resulting from exercising those thumbs on his nightly tweets. In honor of the President’s profound thumb strength, children will be timed on how fast they can create a 280-character tweet on an iPhone 16, using only their thumbs.
4. Competitive tanning event. The President is proud of his orange hair and spray tan. In recognition of this, children will perform five 15-minute tanning treatments in a standardized Ergoline LED tanning bed. Children with the greatest change in skin pigmentation will eligible for the fitness award. Black and brown-skinned children will have the option of instead performing the orange hair dye competition with those most closely able to dye their hair to the President’s orange hue in 15 minutes becoming eligible for the award.
5. The 600-yard golf cart race. During his first term, President Trump played 261 rounds of golf and spent 1 out of every 3 days of his presidency at one of his golf courses. For this event, children will race Club Car golf carts on a 200-meter figure eight go-kart track. Those with the fastest times will be eligible for the award.
6. Monopoly board game competition. The President became wealthy by buying and selling real estate after inheriting $413 million from his father. For this event, children will start the Monopoly game with $413 million and those ending the game with the most money will be declared the winners. Cheating is permitted. Extra points awarded to any child who buys Greenland.
7. Tax evasion challenge. Despite having a net wealth of $1.6 billion, Donald Trump only paid $750 in federal income tax in 2016 and 2017. This remarkable feat will be memorialized in the new Presidential Fitness Test with a tax evasion event. Children will be given an IRS 1040 form, a Schedule A form, and a Schedule C form. From a starting annual income of $600 million, those children will be judged by who can generate the largest amount of tax deductions in 15 minutes.
8. The vaccination dodge event. President Trump is particularly fond of vaccine skeptics and anti-vaxxers. For this event, a basketball court will be used to define in-bounds and out-of-bounds areas. Ten children at a time will each be given a 1 cc syringe with a 22-gauge needle and attempt to jab as many of the other children as possible. The child receiving the fewest jabs after 10 minutes of play wins.
9. The ketchup bottle shot put. During the January 6th insurrection of Congress, Donald Trump threw ketchup at the White House walls. In honor of this event, children will throw 32-ounce bottles of Heinz ketchup. The longest distance wins.
10. Bobbing for tariffs. President Trump said that “Tariffs is the most beautiful word in the dictionary“. For this event, apples will be labeled with tariffs from 10% to 400%. The apples will be floated in a 50-gallon gold-plated tropical fish aquarium. Children will remove apples using only their teeth. Those with the highest amounts of tariffs in 2 minutes win.
11. The paper towel roll toss. After Hurricane Maria devastated Puerto Rico in 2017, President Trump visited San Juan to survey the damage. At a church, he tossed rolls of paper towels to the newly homeless citizens. For this event, children will throw paper towel rolls at a line up of ten Puerto Ricans from 20 yards away. Children hitting the most Puerto Ricans with paper towel rolls in 30 seconds win.
12. The donkey piñata. One of President Trumps favorite pastimes is bashing Democrats. For this event, piñatas in the shape of the Democrat Party mascot donkey will be made out of papier-mâché. Children will be blindfolded and then strike the piñata with a golf putter. The child causing the piñata to burst wins. Instead of being filled with candy and toys, the piñata will be filled with McDonald’s french fries.
13. The wall building contest. Using Lego blocks, the child who builds the tallest wall in 2 minutes wins. Extra points are given to children who get another kid to pay for the Lego blocks.
14. Jumping Donalds. The President considers self-aggrandizement to be an art form. As such, “jumping Jacks” will be modified as “jumping Donalds”. However, he believes the human body is like a battery – energy used is energy lost. For this reason, he doesn’t like exercising too much. Children will stand with their feet spread apart and clap their hands overhead without jumping. The child doing the fewest jumping Donalds in 1 minute wins.
15. Journalism trap shooting. President Trump is a staunch gun rights advocate, despite the fact that as a felon, he cannot legally own a gun himself. He recently instructed the Attorney General to allow citizens to carry rifles and shotguns in public in Washington, D. C. The President also has a strong distain for all journalists who do not work at Fox News. For this event, clay pigeons will be embossed with the emblems of all major news networks and newspapers (Fox News will be excluded). A trap shooting range will be set up on the National Mall, in front of the Washington Monument. Each child will be given a 12-gauge shotgun and 10 shotgun shells. Children hitting the most clay pigeons win. Double points are awarded if the child hits the clay pigeon embossed with the NPR emblem.

During his first term as president, Donald Trump had a body mass index of 30.4, putting him officially in the “obese” range of BMI. Indeed, he was the most obese president since William Howard Taft (1909 – 1913) who weighed in at 340 pounds. Given this plus President Trump’s frequently stated abhorrence of exercise, we should expect that the new Presidential Fitness Test to look very different from that originally envisioned by Presidents Eisenhower and Kennedy.

August 22, 2025